I’m as worthless as I’ll ever be. I’m a failure in every way possible and I’m never going to get anywhere, I’d be even more of a disappointment if I don’t go. No one wants to deal with me anymore I see no point in staying.
Fuck thinking I matter when I don’t. No one wants me who am I kidding. I’m going to grow old and lonely… sigh
I’m miserable feeling like this. I didn’t fucking want this feeling back. But I’m not wanted like that. It doesn’t matter. I just want to feel something solid, it feels like the rug is going to be pulled from underneath me at any moment.
My chest aches. A lot.
I really can’t live any more
I feel so shitty. I don’t want to feel this way anymore.
The most surprising thing was having a non-white girl text my boy telling him “I think your girlfriends racist against white people” like bitch you don’t even know what racism is. Racist against white people?? Seriously? Nah.